“If Your 1-on-1s Feel Like Status Updates, You’re Doing It Wrong.”
Let’s be honest: most one-on-ones in corporate life are about as energizing as a PowerPoint on safety protocols. They’re calendar clutter, another “check-in” where the leader talks, the employee nods, and everyone leaves wondering what just happened.
But here’s the truth: in times of change, those 30 minutes are gold. They’re your front-row seat to what’s really happening beneath the surface, what people feel, not just what they do.
When done right, a one-on-one becomes your most powerful change management tool. It’s where trust gets built, resistance gets decoded, and your culture shifts one conversation at a time.
Stop managing the checklist. Start coaching the human.
Executive Summary: “From Meetings to Momentum”
1-on-1s aren’t about micromanaging progress—they’re about creating momentum.
Leaders who use their check-ins as coaching moments help employees move from confusion to clarity, and from compliance to commitment.
Here’s how:
- Let them lead. The employee owns the agenda: what’s working, where they’re stuck, and what they need.
- You listen. Ditch the advice-fest and lean into Inquiry Over Advocacy. Ask before you answer.
- Connect it back. Help employees see how their efforts tie to the larger change vision—this builds meaning, not just metrics.
- Follow through. A quick recap email does more than document. It tells your people, “I heard you.”
When leaders start coaching this way, they don’t just get updates, they get insight, alignment, and buy-in. That’s what makes change stick.
1. Redefine the Purpose
In change-intensive environments, 1-on-1s aren’t just performance check-ins; they’re sensemaking sessions. A great change leader uses them to:
- Surface hidden resistance or fatigue
- Reinforce meaning and connection to purpose
- Clarify shifting priorities and expectations
- Co-create small next steps that maintain momentum
The leader’s role moves from task review to trusted translator between the organization’s change vision and the employee’s lived experience.
2. The Employee Leads the Conversation
To build ownership and accountability, employees should come prepared to share:
- Successes: What wins (large or small) they’ve had since the last check-in.
- Work in Progress: What they’re focusing on and how it connects to broader change goals.
- Where They’re Stuck: Obstacles, ambiguity, or emotional blocks.
- What They Need: Specific asks for tools, clarity, or leadership support.
Change Lens: This aligns with the ADKAR model, particularly the Knowledge and Ability stages. You’re teaching employees to self-diagnose what they need to succeed.
3. The Leader’s Job: Listen Like a Coach
In OCM, listening is a strategic act.
- Use Inquiry Over Advocacy: stay curious longer before offering solutions.
- Reflect patterns: “I’ve noticed you’ve mentioned uncertainty about X the last two meetings. What’s behind that?”
- Validate resistance as information, not defiance.
- Use coaching language: “What feels hardest about that?” instead of “Why haven’t you done that?”
Change Coach Tip: This is where psychological safety and trust are reinforced. Every time a leader listens well, it builds the Desire and Reinforcement stages of ADKAR.
4. Ask Change-Focused Questions
Beyond the operational, weave in reflection that connects to the change journey:
- “What feels different about your work since the change started?”
- “Where are you seeing progress?”
- “What are people not saying out loud?”
- “How do you think your peers are experiencing this?”
- “What would make this transition easier for you or your team?”
These questions create feedback loops that help the leader spot adoption barriers early.
5. End With Empowerment
Close each conversation with:
- “How can I better support you so you can be successful?”
- “What’s one thing I can remove from your plate or clarify?”
- “What’s one commitment you want to make before our next check-in?”
This creates shared accountability and reinforces the “we’re in this together” mindset that sustains change.
6. Document and Reinforce
Follow up with a short email:
- Summarize key points (successes, focus areas, asks, and commitments)
- Thank them for their openness
- Note how their efforts tie back to the larger initiative
Why it Matters: The written recap is both psychological reinforcement and your audit trail for adoption tracking. It signals attentiveness, builds trust, and reduces misalignment.
7. Coaching Assignment for Change Leaders
Between 1-on-1s, ask leaders to reflect:
- What themes am I hearing across my team?
- What barriers are within my control to remove?
- How am I modeling the change I’m asking for?
Optional: Have leaders bring those reflections to their own next check-in with you, turning the model upward.
Final Thoughts: “Less Manager, More Mirror.”
Great leaders don’t just direct. Great leaders reflect. They help people see themselves in the story of change. Every one-on-one is a mirror moment: a chance to listen deeply, ask better questions, and model the kind of curiosity that turns skeptics into supporters.
You don’t need a new tool or framework to make your meetings meaningful. You need presence. You need empathy. And maybe a little courage to stop talking so much.
Because real change doesn’t happen in a mass email or a leadership offsite. It happens one conversation at a time, between two people willing to get real.
