When leaders face resistance, the reflex is often to explain harder. To reframe. Convince. Sell the vision again, but louder.
But the truth is, people don’t resist change. They resist not being heard. That’s why the most effective leaders don’t double down on advocacy. They lean into inquiry, the art of asking before telling, listening before defending, and understanding before deciding.
What “Inquiry Over Advocacy” Really Means
At its core, inquiry over advocacy means choosing curiosity over certainty.
- Inquiry = asking open, genuine questions to understand.
- Advocacy = promoting your own idea, position, or solution.
Both are important, but when we lead with advocacy too soon, we close the door on valuable insight. Inquiry keeps it open longer — and that’s where learning, alignment, and trust live.
Where the Concept Comes From
The idea isn’t new, but it’s rarely practiced well. It’s grounded in multiple disciplines:
- Systems Thinking (Peter Senge): learning organizations balance inquiry and advocacy to avoid blind spots.
- Adaptive Leadership (Ron Heifetz): leaders must understand competing perspectives before mobilizing people.
- Dialogue Theory (David Bohm): true dialogue suspends judgment so collective wisdom can emerge.
- Coaching Practice: trained coaches are taught to ask more than they tell, because ownership creates commitment.
Why It Matters in Change Management
When leaders advocate too early, they risk:
- Shutting down input that could expose hidden barriers or smarter solutions.
- Triggering defensiveness (“you’re not listening to us”).
- Missing emotional undercurrents that determine adoption.
Inquiry helps by:
- Surfacing root causes of resistance before they harden.
- Building trust and psychological safety.
- Inviting employees to co-create solutions, increasing ownership.
As a Change Leader, your power isn’t in having all the answers. It’s in creating a space where the right answers can surface.
Examples in Practice
| Situation | Advocacy Response | Inquiry Response |
| A stakeholder resists a system change | “We have to move forward with this. It’s already approved.” | “What concerns you most about this rollout?” |
| A manager skips communications | “You need to follow the comms plan.” | “What do you think your team needs to hear right now?” |
| A frontline employee says, “This won’t work.” | “It’s been tested. It will work.” | “Tell me what makes you feel that way. What’s been your experience before?” |
Inquiry doesn’t mean you abandon direction — it means you pause long enough to understand why people aren’t following it.
How to Practice Inquiry as a Leader
Here are three small, high-impact ways to make inquiry part of your leadership toolkit:
1. Turn Statements into Questions
Instead of, “Here’s what we need to do,” try:
- “What do you see as the biggest barrier to making this work?”
- “What do you need from me to move forward confidently?”
2. Use the “I Notice / I Imagine / I Wonder” Framework
This simple coaching pattern keeps feedback human and reflective:
“I notice people seem hesitant to speak up in meetings.
I imagine they might be unsure where decisions are made.
I wonder what might help them feel more confident sharing concerns?”
3. Pause Before You Persuade
If you feel the urge to explain, breathe. Ask one more question first. Most resistance dissolves when people feel heard.
Try This With Your Team
Ask one of these questions in your next meeting:
- “What’s one thing we haven’t considered yet?”
- “What would make this easier for you?”
- “What are you worried might happen if we move forward?”
Then, resist the urge to respond. Just listen. You’ll be amazed at what surfaces.
Bringing It All Together
Inquiry over advocacy isn’t about being passive. It’s about being strategic. The goal isn’t to avoid your voice. It’s to earn the right for it to be heard.
When you model curiosity, you create a culture where it’s safe to be honest. When people feel safe, they engage. And when they engage, real change begins.
